What Does A Crime Writer Think About?
Posted on | Friday, January 6, 2012 | No Comments
I get this one a lot. Mostly from my alternate egos but occasionally from a voice outside my head. I can be quite honest with my alter egos that I think about death quite often and how people die. It's the voices outside of my head that are the problem. How do I explain my penchant for the morbid and morose, that's it part and parcel of why I dig and write crime fiction?
You can start breathing now, death is not all crime writers think about (well, this one, at least). I think about life quite a bit too and what motivates people to live it or end it and why. At the end of the day, the 'why' is always more important than the 'what'. Why did she jump off a cliff? Why did he bury his best friend alive? Why did she fight for her life until the end?
The 'why' is what drives me to write. I confess, I'm a bit of a last-minute person, so I don't always know where my story is going or what my characters are going to do next. But that is part of the fun! Nothing in life is set in stone, neither do I believe is fiction. In real life and fiction, the 'why' is the best part of the journey. It gives meaning to both worlds and the people who inhabit them.
In short, thinking about life and death does not have to be morbid or depressing, not if you fundamentally see them as adventures, be it separate or one fabulous roller-coaster ride. There is beauty in both, and you don't have to be a writer to be able to see that.
You can start breathing now, death is not all crime writers think about (well, this one, at least). I think about life quite a bit too and what motivates people to live it or end it and why. At the end of the day, the 'why' is always more important than the 'what'. Why did she jump off a cliff? Why did he bury his best friend alive? Why did she fight for her life until the end?
The 'why' is what drives me to write. I confess, I'm a bit of a last-minute person, so I don't always know where my story is going or what my characters are going to do next. But that is part of the fun! Nothing in life is set in stone, neither do I believe is fiction. In real life and fiction, the 'why' is the best part of the journey. It gives meaning to both worlds and the people who inhabit them.
In short, thinking about life and death does not have to be morbid or depressing, not if you fundamentally see them as adventures, be it separate or one fabulous roller-coaster ride. There is beauty in both, and you don't have to be a writer to be able to see that.
Category:
the writing life
Mystified
Posted on | Thursday, December 29, 2011 | No Comments
"I need perfection
Some twisted selection
That tangles me
To keep me alive"
That tangles me
To keep me alive"
I'd love to claim the above as mine, but they're actually from "Mystify" by INXS, which I'm listening to right now. I'm gearing up to start writing for the day after cranking out an entire page yesterday. Music is my twisted selection, I think. It actually makes me feel alive, even on the days I don't feel like writing. Today I feel...I don't know how I feel, but I do want to write irrespective of what actually spews from my keyboard. Today, that's good enough for me. The rest I'll deal with as it comes.
Oh wait, before I sign off I must share a poem a friend quoted to me yesterday (you know who you are!) when I was in my depths of despair. May it give you the comfort and solidarity of thought it has blessed me with today:
Oh wait, before I sign off I must share a poem a friend quoted to me yesterday (you know who you are!) when I was in my depths of despair. May it give you the comfort and solidarity of thought it has blessed me with today:
- "A little learning is a dangerous thing;
drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
there shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
and drinking largely sobers us again." - Alexander Pope, An essay on Criticism
Category:
the writing life
How Do You Handle Doubt?
To a writer, there's nothing worse than doubt. That cold, self-cannibalizing feeling that no matter how often and how doggedly you do it, you can't really write. I've been struggling with this shroud for the whole of this week, and remain tangled amongst its threads.
The problem is of course, there are more "what ifs" than I care to have in my life right now. What if I fail at becoming a crime writer? What if my new teaching job doesn't bring me the satisfaction I am looking for? What if my future students are nightmarish kiasus hell-bent on making my life miserable? What if I become hell-bent on making their lives miserable?
The problem is of course, there are more "what ifs" than I care to have in my life right now. What if I fail at becoming a crime writer? What if my new teaching job doesn't bring me the satisfaction I am looking for? What if my future students are nightmarish kiasus hell-bent on making my life miserable? What if I become hell-bent on making their lives miserable?
Where is all this coming from, you say? A dinner conversation with my landlord, who until recently was a struggling cinematographer, may have something to do with my doubt. He's 50 and has been in his field all his adult life. Making it at FIFTY after struggling for years. That is a scary thought, considering I was hoping to publish my first work by the time I turn 35. What if I too, made it only in my fifties? What if I never make it? (Yikes!)
The result is that I haven't written a word since that conversation. I know I should, because I enjoy it. But my self-doubt stubbornly clings to me, pulling me away from what comes naturally to me. So much so that I almost believe now that I don't want to write. And that is making me miserable.
But wait, hang on a sec. Doesn't doubt have a shelf life? Does it not disappear when it's out in the open? Wiser writers continue to write although it's hard work. And why do I keep thinking of "Bee Movie" while I'm writing this? I've just remembered some dialogue from the movie which described how humans say that bees are not supposed to fly because they have bigger bodies than they do wings, but bees fly anyway.
What does that mean to a struggling writer, that I should write anyway while my brain continues toying with itself? Improbable, at this point, but not impossible I think. I'm going to sit on this for a bit and let it sink in. And stay away from career-related conversations with my landlord.
But wait, hang on a sec. Doesn't doubt have a shelf life? Does it not disappear when it's out in the open? Wiser writers continue to write although it's hard work. And why do I keep thinking of "Bee Movie" while I'm writing this? I've just remembered some dialogue from the movie which described how humans say that bees are not supposed to fly because they have bigger bodies than they do wings, but bees fly anyway.
What does that mean to a struggling writer, that I should write anyway while my brain continues toying with itself? Improbable, at this point, but not impossible I think. I'm going to sit on this for a bit and let it sink in. And stay away from career-related conversations with my landlord.
Category:
the writing life
How Yoga And Meditation Help Me Write
Posted on | Monday, August 1, 2011 | No Comments
I was invited to tea recently at the home of a former school mate. It had been a year since I had met the hostess and a few months since I'd BK, another friend of mine, so the three of us had plenty to catch up on. Over vegetarian spring rolls and a delicious chocolate cake, stories of our school days somehow found their way into the conversation. During one particularly funny story, my friend BK told our hostess/school mate N that she had been amazed by the clarity of the latter's mind when we were in school. I had to agree; N is one of the smartest and most articulate people I know.
BK's observation led me to reflect on my own life as a writer. When I was a journalist, my best pieces were written when I was in my quiet zone. A place where my thoughts were linked like beads on a chain and transmitted effortlessly to my waiting fingers. It didn't matter where I was, or how noisy the surroundings were. As long as I was in my quiet zone, nothing else mattered but translating my thoughts into words on the screen. Or as BK said so succinctly: clarity of mind.
I can't tell you where my quiet place comes from, or where it goes sometimes when I so desperately need to write but can't manage to crank out more than a paragraph or two. What I can tell you is that yoga and meditation has somehow helped me get there. I still haven't figured out how and maybe I don't need to. All I know is the mornings I meditate for more than 10 minutes and the days I have yoga class are the most productive I have.
A little web surfing unearthed some answers. According to Psychology Today magazine, "Neuroscientists have found that meditators shift their brain activity to different areas of the cortex - brain waves in the stress-prone right frontal cortex move to the calmer left frontal cortex." That explains why I feel not only calmer after meditation or yoga, but refreshed as well. A 2009 article in the Creativity Research Journal meanwhile, said that meditation supports creative thinking (particularly the incubation and illumination phases), even in novices, by inducing broad, open awareness in a state of low cortical arousal (e.g., increased low-alpha) enhancing sensitivity, reducing habituation to external (and perhaps internal) stimuli, increasing cognitive performance on complex problems and supporting novelty-seeking. According to the article, meditation promotes cognitive flexibility due to its transcendent, detached witnessing effect. "Strong associative thinking habits are suppressed allowing for the generation of new ideas," it said.
In other words, science has proven the link between meditation and artistic creativity. I must confess that before reading these articles, I was skeptical towards the calming effects of yoga and meditation. The reason was that I was afraid they would make me "too calm and docile" and affect my writing. The reverse is true; I now write with more clarity and enjoyment than I did pre-yoga and meditation. And all it takes is 15 minutes of meditation each morning and half an hour of yoga a day. If you're an artist, try it out for yourself. Persist with meditation and watch your creativity blossom.
Category:
the writing life
